I wanted to let you in on a little project that you may have heard about here and there, but mostly I’ve kept it under wraps. I’m writing a pregnancy book! I’m not the only one who thinks that there’s a need for this sort of thing, Kristen and Heather and Sally Fallon and Nina Planck all have books on real food, healthy babies, and making informed choices. They’re all fantastic resources that I recommend you check out, I own all these books and love them.
But mine’s a little different, I really like breaking down overwhelming processes like the GAPS diet, GAPS intro, or freezer cooking in day-by-day, meal-by-meal instruction.
So that’s what my book is, a 5-day-a-week workbook that mothers-to-be can read through for 5 minutes every morning or evening and when doing so, they cover important topics that a lot of women don’t realize they can or should question.
I’m also making this as ‘mainstream friendly’ as I can, working to not alienate women who have only heard What to Expect’s opinion on things like vaccination, home birth, epidurals, co-sleeping, and baby’s first foods. I am writing to plant a seed of questioning, and links to additional resources.
Is this right for your family? Is it what you want to do, or is it just what you think everyone does?
Why am I writing this?
I’m writing this because I come across so many mothers who say,
‘I wouldn’t have circumcised, I just didn’t know that anyone did any differently’.
“I supplemented with formula because that’s what the doctor said to do, I didn’t realize how important drinking water and getting enough sleep was for my milk production”.
“I thought my only concern with first foods was to prevent choking, I didn’t know about the gut flora still being established”
As I see first time moms making decisions, I’ve become more outspoken with advice. Before, I thought that it really was unsolicited and unwanted, but these moms are HUNGRY for someone to have some opinions other than ‘talk to your doctor’.
That’s what this book is for.
I don’t want to push my agenda on anyone, or shame anyone who doesn’t do things how I did them, I just want to present more information to expecting and new moms than the 10-minute prenatal appointment or well baby visit where a quick pro-and-con speech is delivered, and then a decision has to be made right there.
This book is to bridge the gap between What to Expect when You’re Expecting and The Ina May Guide to Childbirth. It’s for moms who choose home birth, or moms who choose an epidural in a hospital, but in either way they are making an informed choice that is their own.
This book is sisterly advice to all the women who want to understand what’s going on, but they don’t know where to start.
I want your input
I know my readers are pretty natural minded. What would you want your sister, your neighbor, your co-worker to know they can question and have more information about, without actually having that awkward conversation? I’d love your comments below, or feel free to use the contact form to email me.
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An excerpt
Here are some questions that I encourage families to ask before choosing a care provider. This is from page 17:
Interviewing practitioners can be stressful for natural-minded mamas! We often have researched a ton, and have a very clear idea about what we want done for a normal childbirth and normal newborn care. When choosing a practitioner, here are some tips to help you choose someone who will support you in having the healthy pregnancy and birth that you desire.
Most practitioners don’t see pregnant women until they are 8 weeks along, some wait all the way til 14 weeks, and some doctors see you for a blood draw pregnancy confirmation and early ultrasound as early as 5 weeks (1 week after your missed period).
When choosing a practitioner, not only are you choosing someone who you feel comfortable with, but you also are choosing someone who respects you as a person, you feel will honor your wishes, and most importantly, someone that you feel is competent in their ability to safely help you deliver your baby!
Just being ‘certified’ by your state or country doesn’t mean that all practitioners are equally competent. I had to interview half a dozen midwives before I found one I was comfortable with using, I need a very hands off approach, and I needed them to demonstrate that they knew exactly what they would do and why, along with the science that backed it up, in unlikely birth emergencies. The combination of those two things would allow me to relax and focus on labor, not on defending my rights as a mother or rejecting their interventions that are not evidence based.
These questions are written for you to not only assess the practitioner’s competence, but also to see how they react to ideas that may challenge their own beliefs. Note any defensiveness, also note if they flounder and can’t provide an answer for what they would do in a certain situation, or if they state something as fact that your own research has shown not to be.
Use this list as a jumping off point- choose the questions that you want to ask.
You also need to pay attention to the provider’s reactions. If they downplay things important to you, pull the “dead baby” card. If they don’t want to reveal their induction or cesarean rate, that’s not a good sign. Phrase questions in a way to make sure that they are ok with you being in control of your own birth. “Do you allow laboring upright” would often be answered ‘sure’ and then when the time came they may change their mind. Phrasing the same question as “I’m planning on birthing upright, are you comfortable with this” will show more if their answer is floundering around ‘well, unless I need to see better’ is not an answer that shows respect for you.
- How do you feel about kangaroo care?
- How often do you do vaginal exams?
- How do you feel about no vaginal exams or only one when I first get to the hospital?
- Do you want women to progress at a certain rate?
- What do you require for monitoring? (continuous or intermittent Doppler, etc)
- What is your cesarean section rate?
- What is your VBAC rate?
- How far past my due date will you be comfortable with me going?
- What is your epidural rate?
- What is your episiotomy rate?
- What is your induction rate?
- Do you have vacations or special events planned around my due date?
- Do you attend all your births or do I just get whoever is on-call?
- How do you feel about me eating and drinking in labor?
- What different positions have your patients/clients delivered in?
- What is the most common position (for the mother) they deliver in?
- Do you do waterbirths?
- How do you feel about me having a doula?
- How do you feel about birth plans?
- How do you feel about allowing a cord to pulse? (honestly, you find the most out about a doc here- some will say baby has to be lower so the gravity makes sure the blood goes to the baby otherwise blood will run the other way, taking all the baby’s blood, some will say if you leave the cord too long it will start draining mom’s blood, or it only benefits preemies, statistically the differences aren’t a big deal if babe is full term.)
- How do you feel about circumcision?
- I don’t want the baby roughed up… will the nurses leave us alone as long as baby is alert?
- How do you feel about allowing my body to expel the placenta on it’s own, without using cord traction?
- How do you feel about no augmentation after birth?
- Do you suction the baby?
- If yes, do you suction on the perineum?
- Do you give mothers oxygen during birth?
- Do you give babies oxygen?
42 weeks to an Informed Pregnancy is to help you make informed decisions that work for your family for the pregnancy/birth/and first year of having a baby. Weekly research prompts are given to you, along with recipes for nourishing foods, an online resource page, and fun activities like tips for pregnancy photo shoots, and journal prompts for your pregnancy journal. Sign up for the newsletter here to learn more!
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I think u should discuss the important of fermented foods while pregnant, raw dairy, how “taking vitamins” isn’t always the best thing, the importance of liver for iron, definitely circumcision and vaccines. The clear stuff they put on the baby’s eyes…erythromycin or something like that. Vitamin k shot. Cutting the cord too soon, ways to naturally induce labor. How to prepare for a vbac. Sorry, I’m pregnant now and these are the things that go thru my head. I’m sure I could list more! It’s definitely awesome you’re writing this book tho! Very interested in it! I’m due in 2 months tho…wish it was out now so I could read!
I think just your list above will spurn research, as many women don’t even know about these procedures/policies, or don’t know that there are options. That is a huge start right there. You can’t ask if you don’t know. When I think back to what I didn’t know, it is pretty hard to remember! While I knew the short term risks associated with episiotomy, for example, and I knew I didn’t want one, I didn’t understand the long-term consequences that would have made me absolutely refuse one and literally get up off of the delivery table. How I wish I had known. Also, how are you going to direct women who want to find out more? Obviously there is always the ubiquitous internet search engine, but what is a better option? Once you start recommending resources, it probably makes the whole book seem more biased. I think that is one of the problems with child birth, it is, by its nature, highly polarized. How can there be common ground between those whose fundamental philosophy says that child birth is a dangerous, life-threatening illness which must be intensively managed and those who believe it is simply a normal physiological function for healthy women which benefits from a little observation and very little, if any, management? I can’t wait to see the finished product.
Great thoughts Terri, thank you! For the resources, you can check out my resource page below- I’m aiming to go for actual studies rather than opinion articles. https://healthhomeandhappiness.com/pregnancy-and-baby-recommended-resources
Oh, and another note, there is indeed a bias in this book :) I’m just aiming for ‘not offensive’, not ‘unbiased’. :)
Sounds great! All the things I wish I knew the first time around and eventually learned by #5. Anyway, what about wi-fi and EMF? Makes me cringe when I see a laptop on a pregnant mom’s lap or belly. Just a thought.
Good idea- a simple solution that is pretty mainstream friendly is to just keep your phone on airplane mode at night, and keep it in your purse rather than your pocket during the day, that’s reducing the EMF by half or so.
Wow that sounds amazing! Good job Cara, I’m so glad you are doing this. There are so many people who will benefit from this. Ina May is not too ‘crunchy’ or ‘natural’ for me but I’ve got family members who shy away from that kind of stuff and end up on the complete opposite side by default. Your book will bridge this gap, I believe. This will be a GREAT resource. I can’t wait to read it!!
MTHFR! How it relates to a mother’s need and absorption during pregnancy, and also how that affects lip and tongue ties. Definitely, also, the advice to check for lip and tongue ties right after birth so that can be taken care of right away to help the nursing relationship be as smooth, productive, and painless as possible.
*Need and absorption of folate
What a precious picture! Is that your newest little one?
This is such a fabulous idea! I wish I’d had this resource when I started having babies 8 1/2 years ago!
Here are a few thoughts from my experience or that I’d like to share with a neighbor…
* Breastfeeding basics including latch issues/proper positioning to ensure a correct latch, specifics on how to hold baby against mother’s body, that ANY soreness, bleeding, etc likely reflects improper latch or position or perhaps even a possible problem with a maxillary labial frenum… (I didn’t discover until baby #3 that breastfeeding doesn’t have to hurt at.all.) And bleeding nipples for months on end are not okay.
* How to handle mastitis (or recurring mastitis) especially if you have older children who need care and you are reduced to lying on the couch and biting a damp rag while baby latches on so you don’t scream out loud. :(
* Breast pump recommendations for those who have no choice but to return to work
* Suggestions for the mom whose baby has her days/nights mixed up and Mom is up during the night and thus has problems with milk supply.
* First-food ideas with options for reaction to egg yolk (my 3rd little one vomited – not just spit up – after each exposure to soft-boiled egg yolk. Then he threw up avocado the 2nd time he tried that and still won’t touch it a year later… Sadly he is my pickiest eater now by far.)
Yes, this is my little guy :) Great suggestions, thank you!
I have fully come to realize how wrong and backwards the “low-fat” thinking is in our current culture. The “low-fat” high sugar, high carb, high grain, nutrient-lacking food is destroying our health and certainly our children. They need way more healthy fats than people realize and it makes me so sad to know that even infants are not getting the fats they need. Please cover this in your book (as I’m sure you will). Full fat raw or pastured dairy, meats, avocado, wild salmon, coconut, etc. Good fats do not make you fat!
How to naturally address bladder infections – and what to do when the OB’s office calls to say the counts in your specimen are too high and you need an antibiotic immediately (even though you have no symptoms).
Natural options for avoiding a Group B Strep diagnosis and what to do if it shows up.
Love it!! Great idea! You have probably thought to include some breastfeeding info. I always here from women that they are just going to see how it goes in reference to their birth and whether or not they will have an epidural. I usually tell them that that is like going into a marathon with no trainig and just waiting to see how it goes! I’m surprised at how little thought some women put into childbearing, I think it is a wonderful idea to make it accessible to all mammas to give them some things to think about and make more informed choices. I had no clue when I first was pregnant!
I have been pregnant 5 times and have five wonderful children. With each one, I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I have done a lot of research into this and tried a lot of different things. The one thing that helped the most (but still required at home nurse care) was a hypoglycemic diet, avoiding all sugar, even limiting fruit. Many of my girlfriends have had this as well as Princess Kate in England. Please, please include something on management of hyperemesis. It is horrible and has long lasting ramifications (my children’s baby teeth are not strong, my own teeth have damage consistent with excessive vomiting, my electrolytes became very unbalanced, I was nutrient deficient for months after birth, etc.) Also, Amanda Rose has written a book about post partum depression resulting from nutrient deficiency. Please talk about that as well. What a great idea to have bite size pieces of information plus resources. Have a great day. Jennie
I would like to know your opinion about placenta encapsulation or consumption after birth to reduce the occurrence of post-partum depression, increase milk supply and speed recovery.
I’ll write about that for sure! I had my placenta encapsulated with my last one and I loved it!